I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
