I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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