Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
