this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
