my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
