wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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