We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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