Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
