But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
