i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
