I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
PANTIES FOUND
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
