Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
