Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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