I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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