I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
