have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
pray to the hookup gods
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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