babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
