Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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