You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
