Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Even my vagina gasped.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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