I got chris browned last night
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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