oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need moral support for this bender
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
