awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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