so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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