i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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