so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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