you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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