I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
