Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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