I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
