Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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