I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
