Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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