This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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