hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
