which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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