I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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