Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
