She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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