Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
a search helicopter?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize