Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
