But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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