I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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