I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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