That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize