Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
