I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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