I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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