The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize