yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There are leaves in my underwear?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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