6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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