I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize