Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
