part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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