Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize