hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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