Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
