seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize