Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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