toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
