Apparently you make a good broom.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
