I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
dude. I can hear the air.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
